Mildly Okay Advice
by Twilight Joltik
Summary: Lucina finally decides to put her group of friends to use and make a helpful guide for potential new Smashers of helpful hints to get by in the Smash Mansion. Of course, considering they had no such guide, their own experiences were more trial and error than anything. Pseudo-companion to Ten Random Characters. Current chapter- why Fire Emblem didn't need to be localized earlier.
1. Why this exists is complicated

**_AN- Hey, do you remember that one time I said I might write a story about the LoCwSNaaS separate from Ten Random Characters? Well, this is what became of that story: another random game from everyones' profile pages turned into mildly conne_****_cted stories. This time, it's based off of all of those things not to do at X lists, and it's in FIRST PERSON! Anyways, thank you, I don't own these characters so do not sue my face off, and enjoy! -Twilight Joltik_**

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_Mildly Okay Advice_

_Intro- Why this exists is complicated_.

To whomever it concerns or Pit, whoever find it first (probably Pit)-

If this is a future Smasher, I sincerely apologize for the predicament you've found yourself in. In short, you are probably stuck here for the rest of time. Yes, with this group of lunatics. I am so very sorry. Whoever you are, I'm sure you are a lovely person and did nothing to deserve this eternal torment.

However, this place will be palatable in time. You will surely find at least a small number of friends, but it will probably hurt at first. You will likely face dejection by people you admire before finally finding a few who appreciate you for who you are rather than overlooking you due to the fact that you aren't Roy, Chrom, or Shulk.

Dark Pit is telling me to shut up and stop being melodramatic. I apologize for my rant. It was probably uncalled for.

As I was saying, in time, you'll find people you care for and who will care for you. It is entirely likely you will find love, and fall into it a bit more quickly or slowly than you think you ought to, but that's not abnormal. It most likely has something to do with the fact that we are imperfect copies of the people we think we are. Er, don't think about that too hard. Nothing good will come of it.

I have found three people I care about, at the moment. They are Dark Pit, who everything you heard about is probably true, except for the fact that he completely hates everyone (he actually likes me on most days, but it's only mostly true for everyone else), Shulk, who would like me to add that he wishes people would stop making jokes about "that one thing he said that one time" (I would imagine you know what that is), and Toon Link, who's mood swings are due to his habit of dying quite frequently and having to be cloned again by Zelda (he'd like to add that the other Link does that as well, and if you ever see a younger looking Link, please pretend as if he is the normal Link until he mysteriously vanishs). We call ourself the LoCwSNaaS, or League of Clones with Stupid Nicknames and also Shulk. Yeah, we're not great with names. Our fourth member is myself: Lucina, and I would like to note that I have absolutely no clue how Marth can possibly be my ancestor, and beg you not to question it, lest my father's head explode.

We decided that our Club needed a purpose, and after much deliberation, we decided to make some attempt to make future Smashers' initiation into this world less painful than ours was. To do this, we found a binder somewhere and decided to write our advice for life here in it. So, please take everything written here seriously, as it may very well save you from unnecessary pain. We will all add some entries, and may allow non-members to do the same if they have any good ideas. Also, if the entries seem a bit out of order, it is only because we wrote this on looseleaf paper so we did not have to wait to get the notebook whenever we wished to add something, and we likely didn't do a great job getting the papers in order.

So, in short, for the love of sanity, if you are unlucky enough to end up here, please listen to those who came before you so you do not repeat our mistakes.

-Lucina

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**_AN- This story will be sort of a companion side story to Ten Random Characters, in roughly the same world, but not revolving around the game. In other words, reference jokes will happen, shipping will happen, and sometimes the plot will take a detour so things can get darker or shippier. Reasoning for divulgence in a focused diary is simple: they need to warn the Smashers of the Future (please be Bandanna Waddle Dee) of the dangers of things like whatever the heck is going on with Shulk and Robin's relationship. So, thanks for reading. -Twilight Joltik_**


	2. If Pit suggests something, don't do it

_Mildly Okay Advice_

_Advice- If Pit suggests something, don't do it._

A piece of advice to any future Smashers-

Never ask Ike or Roy about the incident referred to as "That one time with the thing and the stuff". Ever. It's mildly entertaining to see them get so worked up and turn such violent shades of red, but it isn't quite worth their eternal hatred.

Seriously, it isn't. Especially when you have the misfortune of being Ike's roommate. If Pit tells you to ask about it, please hit him in the face with something heavy, and tell him Shulk told him to stop being sadistic.

However, if you must know about this for whatever reason, ask Marth whenever no one is around. Preferably in one of the dark closets where the older Smashers tell you they hide dead bodies. (By the way, they aren't always kidding about that, but it's not as bad as you think.) Marth won't try to violently impale you or turn you into a Popsicle of whatever species you happen to be, but will instead start laughing almost creepily and recount a rather embarrassing incident. I would put it down here, but I don't want to be more dead than I am already.

Okay, on second thought, they both already hate my guts, and if I put it down here, no one else will have to make the mistake of asking the wrong person about it. That's probably safer, considering Marth is very rarely without one of them and when he is, it usually isn't a good time to talk. Really, I think I ended up making Ike hate me even more than he would have otherwise by making him think I was stalking his boyfriend. So, just please keep in mind that no one is to recount this to anyone who could potentially let Roy or Ike that you know about it.

Basically, under some circumstance which Marth doesn't quite recall, though it was likely either a lost bet or a side effect of copious amounts of sugar and very small amounts of sleep, the three of them ended up singing some J-Pop song (he said the name, I don't think I could spell or pronounce it if I tried) extremely loudly and poorly. In Japanese. In the middle of the night. See, not worth a death wish. Funny to imagine, but not really worth having a roommate that would like nothing better than to disembowl you for.

From what I can tell, the reason this wasn't embarrassing for Marth was because it was his idea, and he just genuinely thought it would be fun. However, considering Roy's one of the more serious ones around be here, and Ike has a younger sister that would most likely make fun of it until the end of time if she ever knew of it, Marth was the only one who doesn't wish there wasn't evidence this ever happened. By evidence, I mean Peach recorded it, but was unable to get anything more than the audio behind a wall, but it's still evidence it happened. I've heard it's somewhere on Peach's computer, but I haven't seen it myself. Shame- I'd like to at least be able to know how bad it really was.

So, in short, if someone tells you to ask someone about something vague, it is probably a horrible idea and will make your life extremely difficult.

-Shulk


	3. Don't let goddesses watch anime

Mildly Okay Advice

Advice- Don't let goddesses watch anime.

To future victims-

Never let Palutena watch Sailor Moon, she will start singing the theme song frequently and inserting others into the lyrics. For example:

Fighting Bowser by moonlight,

Saving Peach by daylight,

Never running from a Kart Fight,

He is the one named Sailor Shroom!

That's about Mario, by the way. And she will do it for every smasher without fail. I would list them, but I don't want to recall all of the awful things she's ever sung.

Also, don't let Palutena watch Fairy Tail. You know Cordelia from Fire Emblem Awakening? She'll start calling her Erza every time she is mentioned without fail. And it will get annoying. Also, she'll start asking Roy if he has Slayer Magic, which will get old to everyone very quickly.

Never let her watch Madoka Magica either. She'll start saying that "Being Meguca is suffering" incredibly often. In context that is less fitting than I can think of a good analogy for. In addition to that, she'll also make a lot of jokes about "not losing your head", and you will want to vomit yours inside out after hearing them for five hours straight.

And for the love of sanity, don't even let her think about The Melancholy of Harhui Suzumia, because she'll start trying to get Mega Man, Lucina, and Ness to form an "SOS Brigade". Yes, I get it, they're a robot, a time traveller, and an esper, and it's not funny. Especially when I'm pretty sure the first thing was "alien".

Add the Kirby anime to that list. She'll make Meta Knight want to murder her by calling him "Señor Noodlearms". Wait, actually, do make her watch that. I'd like to see him take out his rage on her, considering I'm contractually obliged not to directly maim our "competitors". (Thanks, Viridi.)

But don't let her watch Death Note under any circumstances. If she does, any time the word "Light" is mentioned, she will, without fail, make it into a horrible pun. Actually, don't even let her look at a notebook, I'm pretty sure that'd trigger it as well.

And if you mention RWBY around her, I will personally make sure you don't continue breathing. Really, if she calls Lucina's group Team JNPR one more time, I will break her legs. Darn it, she's making me do it too. Um, just please punch her if she says she's "Queen of the Castle".

Actually, on second thought, just don't let Palutena watch anime. Ever. Please. Or I'll make someone my job doesn't prohibit me from killing pay.

-Dark Pit

PS, add Mekakucity Actors to that list too. She started watching it, and if she doesn't stop calling me Kuroha, well, I said what I did earlier. Actually, just tell her she's the reason the opening for Episode 9 sucked. Because it probably was. Not like I would know or anything, because I don't watch any of these shows, but it probably was.


	4. Stop complaining, Marth!

_Mildly Okay Advice_

_Advice- Stop complaining, Marth!_

To future Smashers or whoever happens to find this, but mostly anyone from Fire Emblem or Earthbound-

This applies mostly to Lucina and the other Fire Emblem characters, and the Earthbound ones as well. Please, just stop complaining about not being brought overseas for such a long time! Be grateful your franchises were able to avoid the horrors that came with localization. Be grateful all you have to be embarrassed about is a pretty okay OVA and a weird advertising campaign, respectively.

I'm not going to go into the CD-I incident. I don't want to. However, I will remind you of the awful cartoon the Zelda series must live with. "Excuse me, Princess"; and you wonder why the other me doesn't like talking!

Oh, but poor Mario, they had three of them. Horrible live action, pasta jokes, "Mama Luigi", and that movie we do not speak of. They got it the worst, easily.

Wait, no, I take it back-icus, Mega Man and Pit had it just as bad. Well, I guess it could have been worse for a Mega Man, considering they didn't use Bad Box Art Mega Man in Captain N, but they didn't even get Pit's name right-icus. And that annoying -icus thing. Okay, I'll stop saying that now. Or, er, writing it-icus. (I'm sorry, I couldn't resist.)

And Sonic. I'm not even going into how bad he had it, or he'll start griping as usual. Just remember, it was no good.

Kirby people, you all probably got off worse of all the late-comers, but at least your anime was sort of good. Pokemon people too, but I'm sorry you must live with everyone singing your theme song twelve times a day around here.

Basically, if you didn't get a game in America until later, or you weren't born as early as some of us, BE GRATEFUL!

-Toon Link


End file.
